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Intense, intimate Taipei




After months I open the closet. After months I take the first jacket again, a not too thick one. These temperatures are usually not reached in October in Taipei: it is necessary to wait until late November, as long as there is no sun.

But my memories splash to those late autumn days of a few years ago, wet with rain and tears. The first one came providentially to hide my emotions. Thank you, my Taipei. Twice you welcomed me, twice I felt part of your ecosystem made up of smells and engines, of innovation and architectural contrast. Of daily frenzies and sincere interludes of serenity. I needed it.

Taipei through a glass
Taipei through a glass

I didn't give up everything, but it was a particular period in which I needed to disconnect. For a few months I fled to where it was easier for me. I did it two years in a row and I realize that I have been privileged, both for the possibility of putting my life on hold, and for having had an easy easy way out in my hands. I felt a too strong need to face a period of weakness. Peculiar situation: I, an Italian, in Taipei. My wife, Taiwanese, in Rome. She supported me. That's how it went: I got on a plane and left. Once she accompanied me, another time she joined me.

In theory, I had a few things to keep me busy. I was an assistant in a university Italian language course. And today I also have an (unused) license to teach it to foreigners. Also, I went to improve my Mandarin. And today, I manage to speak it decently. In practice, however, apart from some occasional social gatherings, they were months full of solitude. As a student, there was always a certain age gap. The first year I was too young compared to my classmates: nice Japanese ladies who accompanied their husbands in a period of work in Taiwan. The second time I was a bit too old. Moreover married. And since I was attending an intermediate, almost advanced level course, almost all of my classmates were other Asian girls who were quite familiar with Mandarin sounds and ideograms. All factors that made the interaction too complicated. Even during classes.

Taipei at night #1
Taipei at night #1

On the other hand, this fact in Asia happens often to me, almost persecutes me. In Asia, and partly in Italy too, I am always surrounded by women. You may say: β€œIsn't it luck?”. Maybe, if it was about twenty years ago. Not now, having been married for over ten and sentimentally satisfied. And even if I were in the opposite situation... I never was that charming to women.

Therefore, I was almost always alone. I don't think I've ever been more "Stray" than those autumn months in Taipei.

Taipei at night #2
Taipei at night #2

I see myself again today, but I have to start from the night, from the light of a city that looks always very illuminated, at least by European standards. That's me, a man who still feels like a boy, wandering around the streets, aimlessly, in a noisy but reassuring system. I look around, I let life enter inside me together with my breath. Then I look up, I see a billboard with that celebrity who, they say, has some traits in common with my wife. I do not see the similarity, but my thoughts go to her. But I cannot abandon myself to them, it is a situation that I have looked for. Therefore, I start walking again.

Taipei lights
Taipei lights

I walk, I walk over the roofs of the city, I run making the neon lights fray around me. I walk kilometers, go around in circles for many miles, soak up the humidity of Taipei until I reach the new year. To see the classic fireworks of the Taipei 101, thinking that the first time I saw it, it was still the tallest skyscraper in the world. But here I am not alone, I am already at the end of my experience. I must have walked a little too much.

New year at Taipei 101
New year at Taipei 101

The metro. I live in Tamsui (I talk about it here), which is a bit far from the center of Taipei. And therefore also from most of my destinations. I am basically a commuter, by necessity and by choice. I spend many hours on the cozy Taipei subway. I read novels in Italian, but I also practice my reading of Mandarin, trying to interpret the advertising writings. Above all, however, I meditate and observe.

A girl sits next to me, she spends at least five minutes trying to take a selfie, arching her mouth in a quirky, typically Asian way. I would like to tell her that the photo would look better with a natural expression. But I hold back. Did I make the right choice?

Taipei Metro
Taipei Metro

Lots of school uniforms, lots of movement. It happens every time an elderly person gets in, to leave their seat to him or her. Sometimes it happens that a person smiles at me. And this manages to scratch a bit my loneliness. I am always welcome here.

It is around 10 pm. I went to see a show and I'm going back home. An American guy starts a chat on the subway. Two minutes of conversation that lead to nothing, except making me feel inadequate in terms of knowledge of Mandarin, which he speaks much better than me. And I understand that, even though we conversed in English. He gets off. I keep going. I always keep going.

Taipei 101 seen from Xiangshan
Taipei 101 seen from Xiangshan

Then the mountains. I start from an easy path. Xiangshan, the Elephant Mountain, is practically inside Taipei. Many go up here to take fabulous photos of the Taipei 101. But the steps are many and they are quite steep. A girl ahead of me tackles the climb slowly, with measured steps. As a braggart I overtake her and leave her behind me. She'll be the one to reach the top first.

Ferry between Bali and Tamsui
Ferry between Bali and Tamsui

I try again by climbing Guanyin Mountain. This climb is longer, I depart more prepared. No, I am not. I didn't bring food and there are no places to buy it along the way. A gentleman who goes more or less at my speed senses this and offers me some pressed tofu. It helps me to get on. The show repays the effort. But I'm not there to dominate the world, but only my soul. Then I go down from the Bali side (no, not the one in Indonesia, of course). Down there is only a parking lot. And a few more kilometers to get to the city. Or a bus that reaches the most remote places. Yes, but it does it every two or three hours. A group of ladies who were walking behind me is moved to pity and gives me a ride.

Tamsui: riverside
Tamsui: riverside

And from Bali to Tamsui there is only one river to cross. I usually always look at it from the other side. In that river I drowned my thoughts thousands of times, I walked its banks for hours. Yes, the water. Another element that was of great help to me.

North coast of Taiwan
North coast of Taiwan

Sometimes I took the bus along the north coast of Taiwan and went to dive in the sea. In autumn? Yes, until mid-November, on a sunny day it is possible. Usually I stayed no more than an hour, always alone. Also because there was practically no one, if not some distant person walking on the shoreline, letting the waves caress just the ankles. A cold drink while looking at the sea. Maybe a beer, when the twilight began to wedge itself into an inexpressive sky. And the bus again, to take me back to a rest that maybe I didn't even need.

Beach in the north of Taiwan
Beach in the north of Taiwan

When temperatures began to drop, the thermal baths of Beitou replaced the sea. I always went (and I still go) to the mixed ones, where you have to immerse yourself in a bathing suit. There is usually some older person here who gets curious and starts a routine conversation. It usually starts with "Why are you in Taiwan?" And ends with a correction: "Not yet." This is the classic reply to my sentence: "No, I have no children". However, I would like to not give the wrong impression: in Taiwan the birth rate is very low, a bit like in most countries with high economic development.

Beitou Public Hotspring
Beitou Public Hotspring

The variety of food around me was impressive. But I confess that I have often opted for quick and cheap meals. I often went back to the same places, making the same order. Sometimes I ate a sandwich or a simple snack sitting on a park bench, while elderly people in the background did their daily group gymnastics.

Dinner #1

I meditated and observed. I had to make the world penetrate as much as possible through my eyes, so that the images took the place of too cumbersome thoughts. They were intense days, precisely because they passed slowly, without external pressure. The battle was inside me, not outside. Taipei witnessed a changing soul. And it did its job. It clapped me at times, it admonished me when I deserved it. Empathetic, yet discreet. Thanks, Taipei.

Dinner #2

Today I still fail most of the time. And people keep letting me down. The daily world around me confirms itself as slow, slow, slow, slow. Too much, too slow for me. In those months off from everything, I didn't make slowness my own, I continue to disapprove of it.

Bench in Taipei
Bench in Taipei

But I've learned to accept it, at least.



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